Beanery Online Literary Magazine

January 20, 2011

Have I, a Caregiver, Failed??

BEANERY ONLINE LITERARY MAGAZINE

HAVE I, A CAREGIVER, FAILED??

Fran

I sit, watching him sleep,

watching his peaceful, even breaths

that include, every now and then, a long pause. 

I think I hold my breath too, when he gasps.

Then he breathes evenly once again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

     It’s been a difficult twenty-four hours. For a caregiver this is really not a surprise, but for this household, yes, this is a surprise. 

     Most days have moments to get through, things to ignore, things to do, and things to undo. But still, they are just moments.  And then………..
     Yesterday, in a split second, he bent over, got dizzy, hit the floor. I
moved, quickly, but not quick enough to catch him. On the bright side those of you who know us know that he is 225 pounds, and I am 96 pounds. Perhaps my moving quicker might have resulted in injury to myself. Still, instinct says try, and this I did.
     The damage is not too bad. He has a pulled abdominal muscle, two pulled muscles in his chest, whip lash of his neck, a bruised left hip, deep bone bruise of right wrist, and a two inch section of missing skin on his forearm. Movement of any kind is now painful to him, and the night was a very long one. Still, we are grateful nothing is broken. I must (more…)