Beanery Online Literary Magazine

February 7, 2008


—written by Carolyn C. Holland for the Beanery Writers Group meeting

The Internet news article, Fifteen Nominees for Worst Movie Dialogue Ever, listed worst movie lines. My favorites from the list were:

5. THE MOVIE: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992),
THE SCENE: Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee) tearfully breaks up with her boyfriend and heads to her death.
THE LINE: ”I’m gone, like a turkey in the corn. Gobble gobble!”


8. THE MOVIE: Pretty Woman (1990)
THE SCENE: Hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold Vivian (Julia Roberts) looks down her fire escape to see her favorite ”John” Edward (Richard Gere) climbing up to ”rescue her” from her crappy life.
THE LINE: ”And she rescues him right back.”

It reminded me of the time I entered a bad writing contest and lost. When I brought the piece to the Beanery Writers Group, one comment was that the writing was “too good” to win. (Click on BAD WRITING CONTEST ENTRY to read an article on Carolyn C. Holland’s submission to a bad writing contest, posted at

I decided to explore the Internet to discover other bad writing contests, of which I picked two.

The Philosophy and Literature journal sponsored one such competition (more…)