Beanery Online Literary Magazine

July 20, 2011

Mixed-Up Mergatroid



Norma Leary

     Because it was raining cats, bats, dogs, frogs, and unsung rug-bugs in Scootertoot Circle, Bow knew he couldn’t play outdoors this Saturday afternoon.

     As he was wondering what to do on this rainy day, his dog, Scuttlemutt, ran to the door and began barking.

     “Someone’s coming,” Bow thought. Although Scuttle refused to talk, get a job to earn his food, and spent most days sleeping or going in and out, he was great at announcing visitors.

     Sure enough, Bow heard ‘rat, tap, rap-a-tap-tap.’ “Knock, knock, who’s there?” he called.


     “Boo who?” asked Bow.

     “Quit crying and let your rocket-rider regal-alien come in. My waterproof skin is getting water spotted and might shrink,” was his answer.

     “Hi Mergatroid, what’s up?” asked Bow, opening the door.

     Mergatroid put on his pouter outer space face and said, “I used to be far, far up until our Starazoid King saucer-shipped me here to study and write about your Untied States history.”

      Needing to correct Merg’s state of mind, Bow said, “Cool it, Merg. We’re United, not untied.”

     “Thanks for straightening me in.”

     “Out,” returned Bow.

     “You want me to leave?”

     “No! People are straightened out, not in,” Bow explained.

     “Straightened out, up, in, over, down, around, sideways, backwards, forwards, or across. I guess you mean your country is together. Good move,” Mergatroid smiled.

     “Hey, Merg, what’s with the measuring cup you’re holding?” Bow was curious.

     “I’ve a lending pending. Please borrow me a cup of soap for Georg Birthington’s wash day.”

     “Who? What?” Bow was becoming confused.

     “That tall George fellow who bore a furnace hat, cut down his Daddys cherry tree so he could build himself a log cabin, has his picture on your dollar bill, sang a song called “Frankie Noodle,” was President during your Civilution and Independence Day in seventeen seventy tricks on Reply North,” Merg stopped to breathe.

    “Not!” scolded Bow. Even thou you’re seven hundred years old and I’m only nine, you’ve mixed up our war heroes and Presidents Washington and Lincoln.”

     “And how,” chimed Jeanie, Bow’s sister, coming into the room after over-hearing Mergatroid. “Try 1776 and July Fourth. The American Revolution and the Civil War.”

     “What did you say?” asked Mergatroid. “Wait! Let me put my glasses on so I can hear you.”

    “That’s silly,” declared Jeanie.

     “Hold it, Missy. Glasses hooked around my ears pull them out and forward to improve sound earing hearing. And seeing silly mouths motoring lets me lip read,” explained Mergatroid.

     “Okay,” giggled Jeanie, before adding. “Do visit my Grandma and Grandpa. They know a lot about history and can help you understand our American history.”

     “Now, how about a soap loanering? I’ll suds scrub away the germs you earthlings trickle all over this planet so my party place is ship-shape, rocket-ready, comet-clean, neat and tidy before I cake the bake.”

     “Are we invited to your bash in honor of Lashington and Wincoln?” Bow wanted to know.

     “You bet. Here, put on my glasses so you can see what you just said.” Mergatroid laughed, thanked Bow and Jeanie for the soap and said “It’s time I blast off. Boodgye, sope to hee you soon.”

      After Mergatroid left, Bow and Jeanie each settled down with a book. Reading was a nice way to spend a rainy day. Or, as Merg would say, “A wice nay to way to spend a dainy ray.”








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