Beanery Online Literary Magazine

December 18, 2008

SANTAS, MRS. SANTAS, ELF and REINDEER WANTED: Application #2

SANTAS CLAUS’S WANTED—also MRS. SANTA CLAUS’S, ELVES AND REINDEER—IMMEDIATELY!!!—from around the world, for the 2008 Christmas season. Please submit your resume’ immediately to: beaneryblog@yahoo.com (with the words SANTA  APPLICATION  or MRS. CLAUS APPLICATION  in the subject line!

BEANERY ONLINE LITERARY MAGAZINE

SANTAS, MRS. SANTAS, ELF and REINDEER WANTED:

Please apply

 

Application #2

Years of Santa experience–ho, ho, ho
Capacity to chuckle
Willing to work with children
Possess sturdy lap
Owner of eight frisky reindeer, one with bright red nose
Jolly belly from eating well
White hair, beard, and mustache
Owner of dependable sleigh and huge sack of toys
Employer of elfish elves

ADDITIONAL READING:

Santa Claus—

SANTAS, MRS. SANTAS, ELVES & REINDEER WANTED: Please apply—Application #1

Dear SANTA from COCHRAN

SANTA IS DEAD!

DEAR A’NONNIEMOUSE FROM COCHRAN (COCKROACH)

(SANTA) SUED FOR NON-SUPPORT

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS 2007-A

12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS 2007-B

DEER HEAD FOUND IN MAILBOX—A GIFT?

 

Other posts—

SNOW GLOBE

AND NOW, THE FORECAST

THE HANDYMAN

HOW THE BEANERY ONLINE LITERARY MAGAZINE WAS CREATED

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2 Comments »

  1. HO, Ho, ho, Hello.
    I started as Santa in 1985. That year my wife employed my services for some friends in her Dads in his neighborhood. It was a cheep suit and fake hair and beard, but I had fun. I kept at it (being Santa) while working as a Correctional Officer for the State of Utah. Then six years ago I found that my hair was white enough to do with out the wig. While visiting as Santa at my son’s Elementary School, one of the boys pulled my beard down. I vowed to never let that happen again so I tried my real beard after that. Much to my surprise my beard is white too, with a few black stragglers. I touch up the stragglers and eyebrows and well, I’ve been Santa with a real beard for the last five years. Each year after Christmas I shave the beard off and cut my hair to please my wife, then in June, I start allover again. At work I’m known as Santa Claus to fellow Officers and inmates alike. I bought a suit from Adel’s of Hollywood adding to my wardrobe with real boots and belt. By the time my beard and hair is all grown out I always try to be a real Santa. As real as possible for the children, when ever they reconize me as Santa. I have built a little client list at this time and I was hoping to build more. My experience has been private parties, church parties, and country club parties. I’m always hoping to improve my client list. I do have some pictures available if you want to see my appearance. Thank you for your time, Santa Val

    Comment by Santa Val — February 17, 2009 @ 7:55 pm | Reply

  2. i want to be a elf

    Comment by cody rinehart — June 24, 2011 @ 2:28 pm | Reply


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