BEANERY ONLINE LITERARY MAGAZINE
ON THE EVE OF 27
Disappointment in your life is hard to manage and extremely distracting. Disappointment in the lives of others, though, your friends, has begun to sting a little more. Maybe it’s moving on in life. Moving up in the world. More responsibility, more at risk.
Relationships coming and going—some stepping out wondering and hoping, others are cautious and practical. There’s more money to spend, but there’s fewer to spend it on.
Looking into the TV late at night, you flip through your mind’s Rolodex of feelings, but you can’t see or feel someone else’s end of the day.
I’ve spent most of the last week trying to sort in my own mind what it means to decide. The process we all go through to make our way in life.
We’re all in the labyrinth, the maze turning from clear and free, to cloudy and restricted. This is the time they tell you “You’re young. Enjoy and don’t worry.” It’s true. This is my time, and probably your time, and I’m enjoying it. But once in a while—no, more than that—someone else’s situation takes precedence. Someone’s problem is flickering on the TV late at night, and I twist and turn, hoping and praying for him or her to sort it out, to make that one turn in the maze that will take them closer to the center and not further away.
What I believe about life has to come into play though, doesn’t it? Inside, the walls are high, winding, and deceptively similar. Along the way markers creep up, turns come that push us closer. From the inside I can’t see over the wall, and I can’t see over yours either. But from above, the maze is clear, the labyrinth wide and free with a pull to the center that we all feel deep down inside.
I’ve worn the dream coat, and I’ve had it stripped from me. But in the end, in the end for you, the string that leads you and me through one fret to another leads us closer to the center, to the draw of the center. I have to believe that. I have to believe that a decision, that a host of decisions, won’t muck up my life.
If that’s true, if the sum is so much greater than the parts, than what a resource that is for life! What a help for you and for me.
On the eve of 27, I never thought this is what my life would look like by now. But the path for a brief moment seems clear, the ending is open, and I can feel the pull to the center. From above and from within.
The dream coat was lost a long time ago, but there’s another on my back now. One not my own, with whom life still seems dizzy and trying, but warm and true.
For you and for me.
For young and for old.
What a resource!
May we find our way to the center.
Philip Letizia, a Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, native and resident, is an avid coffee shop resident and book reader. The Director of Worship at New Covenant Church in Pompano Beach just graduated from Reformed Theological Seminary, has spoken in many South Florida area churches (to hear some of his sermons click on http://newcovenantfl.org/index2.php?str_string=Resources~Sermons/Podcasts~none).
The sports-lover is a life-long fan of the Miami Hurricanes and Miami Dolphins, and loves art and food. Living in the city’s downtown area with friends, he is usually found at the local coffee shop, reading and writing.